


Look What the Carrot Patch Dragged In

by Foodmoon



Series: Oddball fics [28]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Don't read if age gaps bother you, F/M, I Don't Even Know, Jakuchu has a foot fetish, Large Age Gaps
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2020-10-20 03:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20668886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foodmoon/pseuds/Foodmoon
Summary: Genko-o Moto, age 40, is just trying to garden when an ANBU falls in her carrot patch. Her life will never be the same.Or: Shikamaru should be ashamed of himself. He's not. He's really, really not.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Moto clan: OC civilian clan with a kekkai genkai that basically equates to ‘null chakra’. They can’t use chakra in any of the usual ways, so they’re unable to become ninjas.  
Even though they habitually nab ninjas to have children by, only about 1 in 20 _don’t_ inherit the kekkai genkai. The ones who don’t may either be unable to use chakra in any sense or inherit their ninja parent’s gifts. _(Chances are about 50% for either variation.)_ If the latter, they’re turned over to the ninja parent to raise or train _(depending on preference of the individuals involved)_ or simply attend the ninja Academy under the Moto clan’s recommendation.  
They can use their kekkai genkai as an area of effect bubble that negates active chakra usage.  
Or target individuals directly in a manner that basically mimics the effects of chakra exhaustion without actually _causing_ chakra exhaustion, though precision of this technique can vary between individuals.  
They can also use chakra ink as a medium to expand their ‘area of effect’ or the range of their effect on a given individual.  
Biological imperative points them straight at ninjas attraction-wise, and they get very possessive of their ninja partners, although they can usually be convinced to allow them to leave _(or come and go)_ with enough persuasion on the ninja’s part.  
And yes, if you want to borrow the Moto clan, **go right ahead**. The idea of a frustratingly _useless but not harmful to the bearer_ kekkai genkai in a civilian-only clan amused me. Although, of course, it definitely has its uses _for_ Konoha or any other village that could get its hands on them.
> 
> ~  
Part of the Moto clan creation convo:  
_foodmoon: From Japanese __本 (moto) meaning "base, root, origin". More commonly it is the final character in Japanese surnames._  
_SectorDweller: Hm! Let me check if it's not the japanese version of Root :P_  
_SectorDweller: But the meaning does give a ring to it_  
_Foodmoon: XD_  
_Foodmoon: I kind of wanted to name it Funya, then I realized that was probably a bad way to do it ;P_
> 
> Love interest selection convo:  
_Foodmoon: lessee_  
_foodmoon: oc, shikamaru, other canon character?_  
_SectorDweller: Shikamaru :P For what?_  
_Foodmoon: love interest for OC Moto gal_  
_SectorDweller: Aaah_  
_SectorDweller looks at Shikamaru_  
_SectorDweller: Drag was coming to him anyway :P_  
_Foodmoon: XD_

Genko-o blinks as there is an unexpected thud a few feet away in her garden. _What the-?_ A ninja, an ANBU if she goes by the mask, pushes himself up in a dazed manner. _Oh. Well then._

She sighs and he focuses in on her with unnerving speed.

“You’re a…civilian?”

“Got it in one, kid. Welcome to my garden. My carrot patch, specifically. Which is better than the pea patch at least, I guess.”

“A Moto. You’re a Moto, right? Are you one of the ones who put out a hunt announcement?”

_Huh. Had some of her younger cousins declared hunt recently? It’s not like she interacts with the rest of the clan much._ Really, her hunt had ended in a spouse, but now that she thinks about it…she never did officially announce that her hunt was _ended_. “Well, technically, I suppose I am.”

His dark ponytail seems to bristle as he contemplates the answer, then he gives the most put upon sigh she’s heard in a good two decades and drags himself to his feet. “If I give you my word to come back and let you put your mark on me in a way that won’t interfere with my chakra, will you release your kekkai genkai? There’s a situation I’ve been summoned to help deal with, and it’s Urgent.”

Genko-o’s mouth twitches in amusement. Apparently he’d run into her static wards, unaware that a Moto resides here. Not that he needs to come back, but he probably won’t believe her if she says that, or will take it as an insult. And if he’s responding to an Urgent ANBU summons, it’s probably best to avoid all that hassle to begin with. “Sure.”

She shucks off her garden gloves and pulls a brush and chakra ink out of her hip pouch, which she always carries, because she may be a civilian, but her grandmother had been an Uzumaki and hadn’t seen why her descendants _shouldn’t_ learn fuuinjutsu thoroughly just because they can’t use chakra the _normal_ way. The Moto kekkai genkai means there’s only a _few_ fuuinjutsu she can prime and use _herself_, but she makes a very comfortable living _drawing_ base seals for ninjas to prime and use. Dipping her brush, she draws the Moto symbol smack in the middle of his mask _(because he really should be embarrassed by being incompetent enough to fall into her garden)_ and pushes _just a drop_ of Moto chakra into it. Not enough to interfere with the mask’s function, but enough to flare if hit with chakra dead-on, enough to let him _feel_ her doing it.

“There you go, kid. Be safe.”

“Thanks. Um. The kekkai genkai?”

_Oh, right, the wards. It’s a bit impressive that he’s actually standing, given how they must be making him feel._ Since she doesn’t feel like confusing him more, she powers the wards down as far as possible without turning them off, then lets them snap back to their normal level once he’s made himself scarce.

_Well, that was interesting._

~

A couple hours later, she opens the door to a polite if insistent knock, and blinks. The Nara _heir_ is standing on her doorstep, in ANBU gear, a scorched looking mask in his hand. _Kami knows it’s a good thing she has clearance to know who he is, given her work with T&I, but she hasn’t a clue why he’s here._ “Yes?”

He holds up the scorched mask and the 本 (moto) burned into it, small cracks radiating out across the surface of the mask from the character. “I wanted to thank you.”

_Oh._ “You’re welcome, I guess. I just did it that way so you didn’t have to come back.”

The Nara goes still, pinning her with a look usually not seen in anyone below high-jounin. “Am I not your type?”

Genko-o twitches. “That has nothing to do with it. I’m literally twice your age, kid. Not to mention, the only reason I forgot to officially close my hunt was because I was happily fucking my new husband. And then the Kyuubi happened and it took me a long time to get my life back to a semblance of normal after he died. I just wanted you out of my damned garden without an argument.”

“My name’s Shikamaru.”

“Fine. Shikamaru. I just wanted you out of my garden.”

“More to the point, you marked me.”

“I marked _your mask_, because an ANBU not knowing to go _around_ my house is downright laugh-worthy.”

“Your mark saved my life.”

She waves a hand irritably. “Yeah, I can tell. Must’ve been something really nasty to explode like that, but it was coincidental at best.”

He smirks, and she feels irritation crawl up her spine because she shouldn’t be noticing how a kid in his early twenties is _cute_ when he is looking smug. “What’s your name?”

“If I tell you, will you just go away?”

“Sure, I’ll go away.” He agrees easily.

His easy agreement makes her uneasy for some reason, but she shrugs it off. “Genko-o Moto. And if you want to thank me that badly, bring me a packet of replacement seed for the carrot seedlings you destroyed. Shoo!”

Shikamaru smirks again and salutes casually with the unusable mask before disappearing with only a twirling leaf left in his wake.

~

Shikaku Nara is staring at her.

Genko-o scowls at him. “What?”

“My son? Really?”

“If this is about your brat falling in my garden the other week and then shooing him off later, I’d like to point out that your ANBU training has a gap since he obviously didn’t know to avoid my house wards.”

“‘Shooed him off’?”

“Do you need your hearing checked? Yes, shooed him off. Saving his life was an accident; I just wanted him out of my garden. My poor carrots will never be the same.”

“Ahhh.” Shikaku sounds enlightened and looks amused. “So you didn’t know that Shikamaru registered himself as the result of your _very out of date_ hunt and marked it closed?”

She stares at him for a full minute before the words make sense, then shrieks, “He. Did. _What!???_”

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’. No wonder he was looking so full of himself. You _are_ a pretty woman, and you only _look_ like you have a decade on him. In another decade, no one will think twice about it, will they?” Shikaku’s amused self-satisfaction might be entertaining if it wasn’t directed _at _her.

“I’m _forty years old_, Shikaku! I can’t-! You can’t-! I am _not_ cradle-robbing! For kami’s sake!”

“I don’t see why not. My brother’s kids would be happy to inherit the clan from Shikamaru when he retires, and it’s not like he doesn’t come by his kink for bossy women honestly.”

She sputters.

“He’s been an adult for a decade, Genko-o. I’m hardly going to start telling my kid _now_ who he can date or marry. It’s not like he’d listen any more than Yoshino did at his age. Besides, you _do realize_ that the two of you are the next thing to married now that it’s officially entered in the record?”

Genko-o makes choking noises. “We are _not married!_”

“Hm. Good point. Yoshino would probably murder both of us if we don’t let her plan Shikamaru’s wedding and reception. I’ll let her know tonight.”

“Shikaku! You jackass! Don’t you _dare_ tell Yoshino!”

“You can’t expect me to keep things like this from my _wife_, Genko-o.” He replies piously.

She glares at him. “Very funny. Excuse me while I go straighten out this mess with the Hokage.”

Shikaku’s humor slides off his face. “I’d like to ask you not to do that, actually.”

“What? Why!?”

“Because I know I can trust you with him. There’s been some…issues with the clan refusing to accept his choices in life partners. Like the Kazekage’s sister. She didn’t hold it against him, but he took it pretty hard. Then they took to pushing girls at him. Not stupid ones, thank kami, but good-natured or meek ones. He started dating boys just to irritate them.”

“So I’m a stubborn bitch and you want me to stick with him because at least he won’t throw a fit over it and the clan has to suck it up because not even the Hokage can overrule the result of a registered Moto hunt.” Genko-o says sourly.

“Mnn.” Shikaku looks thoughtful. “Yeah, that’s about the size of it. Both Yoshino and I would rather forego grandchildren than see our boy miserable. And neither of us wants to see the fallout if the clan pushes Shikamaru to his breaking point, which they _will_ eventually.”

Glowering, she runs a hand through her hair, then huffs. “Fine, but I’m telling Yoshino you’re not wearing your glasses at work.”

“Oh, come on, Genko-o, don’t be _cruel_.”

She gives him a sweetly malicious smile. “But daddy dearest, a good daughter-in-law would definitely let her mother-in-law that her father-in-law is not taking care of himself properly.”

“Troublesome.” The tone isn’t a whine, but the word itself constitutes one for Shikaku. “But they quit helping years ago.”

Genko-o leans over and pats his hand sympathetically. “Don’t worry, I’m sure the optometrist will be happy to clear a space on her schedule for the _Jounin Commander_.”

Shikaku droops dramatically. “I hate you.”

“And yet, you’re the one who wants me as a daughter. Sorry, Shikaku. Doing you a favor doesn’t mean I’m going to cater to your laziness.”

The droop becomes even more exaggerated and sulky. “I hate you _so_ much.”

~

Yoshino blinks when she sees Genko-o on her porch, a slightly malevolent quirk of smile on her lips. It’s not the first time she’s had the Moto appear on her porch unexpectedly, but it’s rarely good, particularly when she wears _that_ expression. “Yes?”

“Hey, Yoshino. Did you know that I forgot to close my hunt years ago? The official thing for it?”

She frowns slightly. “No. Does this have something to do with Shikamaru and that blackened ANBU mask he’s enshrined on his wall?”

“Yes. Funny thing that. He fell in my carrot patch. I didn’t feel like arguing with an ANBU needed elsewhere, so I just painted ‘moto’ on his mask and told him to scram. I mean, at worst it would get him made fun of, right? It’s not like I’m looking for a relationship or anything. Next thing I know, your husband, who hasn’t worn his glasses at work for _decades_ by the way, is telling me that Shikamaru officially registered himself as the result of my hunt and registered it as closed. I don’t mind the ‘closed’ bit, as I’m sure you can imagine, but…well, I _was_ going to straighten that mess out with the Hokage right away. Until Shikaku asked me not to. _He_ tells me that you and he _agree_ that I’m a better option than the clan and your brat ending up in a cold war over who he marries. Judging on your expression, I’m going with the ‘he forgot to ask your opinion again’ answer. So. What _is_ your opinion on it? I trust your opinion more than I do _theirs_.”

Yoshino blinks, blinks again, and finally says, “I think I need to sit down.”

Thirty minutes and half a pot of tea later, she finally refocuses on Genko-o, who just looks pensive now.

“I…”

Genko-o gives her a dry look. “Don’t hurt yourself, Yoshino. You know I’m not going to be offended if you think this isn’t a good thing. I know you’ve always wanted grandkids, and we both know I’m unlikely to be able to give you any, even if I wanted to. If you want me to tell the Hokage to straighten this farce out, I will.”

Yoshino bites her lip, still undecided, and looks past Genko-o to find Shikamaru slouching attentively in the hall doorway, with a look of open dread on his face. For a split second his expression turns pleading as her eyes meet his, then he straightens a bit, turning his head aside slightly to avoid her gaze, his expression going blank and resigned.

_Oh. Her baby boy is going to be the death of her, but she can’t- He _wants_ this_, _and she can’t-_

“No! I- That is- I mean… I know he’s been miserable since the clan, since _we_ drove off Temari. So…no. Leave it, please?”

Shikamaru straightens fully, surprise flashing in his eyes, then he mouths, _‘You’re the best, mom.’_ and disappears down the hallway to leave them alone again.

“He just puppy-eyed the hell out of you, didn’t he?” Genko-o asks wryly.

She sighs. “Yes. But he actually did think I’d disregard his wishes, I think. I just want him to be happy, Genko-o. And if that means you…fine. At least you mean something positive to him. Unlike the string of _creatures_ he’s been dragging home to mock the clan with when they try to shove someone at him. But if you ever call me ‘mom’, I will make your life a living hell.”

Genko-o snorts. “I’d expect nothing less. Though you can expect Shikaku to cry on you regularly that I’ve called him ‘daddy dearest’ again. Make sure you laugh at him when he comes home wearing glasses that he ‘forgot’ to take off at work. He’s been bribing people for years to not tell you he hid them in some drawer and hasn’t worn them since.”

Yoshino laughs a little. “I know. I just tell them to keep taking the bribes and let him suffer the suspense. But if he comes home wearing a pair, I’ll switch it up. He’s supposed to ask _me_ these things, not the avatar of me he keeps in his overly intelligent brain.”

“He does that? What am I thinking, of course he does that. Moron. I’ll be sure to hold it over his head regularly.”

Honestly, she should probably feel sorry for Shikaku and tell Genko-o not to go overboard, but they _are_ asking a huge favor of her. Not least because a good half of the clan will be cranky over it for a few years. And it’s not like Shikaku hasn’t had it coming. Besides, he’s cute when he comes home to cry on her about people being ‘mean’ to him. _Anyone who thinks the man is stoic has never been married to a Nara. They’re all quietly drama queens. And ‘quietly’ only so they can pretend to dignity and sternness at need._

~

When a Nara man comes up and claps her on the shoulder, Genko-o uses her kekkai genkai to drop him on his ass reflexively. Then blinks, realizing that it _wasn’t_ an attack. “Ah, sorry about that. You startled me.”

He gets up, dusting himself off with a wry smile. “No harm done, and totally understandable, given what our Clan heir has up and done to you, you poor dear. I just wanted to let you know, you have the support of the clan in this.”

“I…see? Well, thank you, then.”

“No problem, dear.” He beams at her. “This must be a great burden to you. We just hope this will settle him down and you don’t have to deal with the obstreperous side of him too often.”

Genko-o has the distinct notion that she’s going to have the overwhelming urge to do something unfortunate once she figures out exactly what Shikamaru has done to have his clan members treating her with pity rather than hostility. Because it has to be Shikamaru. Yoshino knows better and Shikaku values his hide more than that. The Hokage has better things to do, and she’s pretty sure no one else _cares_ enough to try fooling a clan of genuinely intelligent people into _pitying_ her.

~

Shikamaru ignores the fact that his defacto wife is spitting mad as she stomps up to him, in favor of looking at her pretty eyes. “Oh, they’re purple. I thought they were brown.”

“You! You’d better have a _good damned reason that half your freaking clan has come up and offered me condolences in the last week!_”

“Ah, that.” He lets his eyes slide away from the accusation in her gaze. “I just told them the truth. They may be under the impression that I inflicted myself on you in the doing, though.”

“Oh? And didn’t you do _just that?_”

“Er… But you like me, right? Or you would’ve just had the Hokage fix it?” _Actually, he’s pretty darn sure that he’s exactly her type, judging by her micro-reactions to him so far. He’s not exactly sure **why** he’s her type, though, and he really doesn’t want to put her off by being arrogant about it._

He yelps as she pinches his ear and flails as she starts dragging him along by it. Not that he tries to get away. No, he probably _could_ with little effort, given that she’s a civilian and he’s…not. But on the other hand? That’s no way to build a relationship (according to Temari) and if she’s fast enough with her kekkai genkai he’ll just be eating dirt for his pains and get dragged along anyways. Psuedo chakra exhaustion? Definitely not his cup of tea.

Suddenly she pauses in dragging him along and _sniffs his face_, then with unerring accuracy digs into his vest pocket and extracts his pack of cigarettes. “You _smoke!?_ And _‘daddy’s done me wrong’_ Asuma’s brand too. Ugh. I can’t even- It’s fine if you want to honor him by burning one as incense at his family shrine, but polluting your body with them? Suicide by reduced lung capacity is a _really fucking stupid_ way for a ninja to go out. You know what this does to your stamina?”

_Stamina? Does she mean in-? No, she obviously means in battle. Why is he letting himself get distracted by the fact that she’s tall for a woman, strong for a civilian and se-? Oh, right. Dammit. Crushes are troublesome._

“I think I’d rather you kiss me.” _Open mouth, insert both feet. Way to go, Shikamaru. Way to go. Now she’ll slap you and tell you you’re a loser and she’s having nothing to do with you ever again._

Her lips curl in distaste. “While reeking of tobacco smoke? You know that’s the equivalent of asking someone to eat shit for your entertainment, right? I’m allergic, asthmatic, and not about to put myself in the hospital with flustered medics who don’t know how to handle not being able to use healing chakra on someone just because you don’t have the sense to avoid a _detrimental_ addiction.”

Shikamaru looks at the pack in her hand, at her pretty eyes that somehow look brown again _(How does that work anyways?),_ then at her adamant expression. Apparently it’s a choice between her and the cigarettes, and she’s not wrong about burning them at the Sarutobi family shrine being a viable alternative for honoring his deceased sensei. “Okay.”

Genko-o’s eyes narrow on him for a moment, then she hands him the pack of cigarettes and resumes dragging him along by his ear.

“You don’t have to drag me, you know.”

“Sure, right. I’ve yet to see _one_ ninja willing to walk into a gathering of Moto the first time without attempting to turn tail.”

“Did you _warn them_ first?”

“Well, as to that. No. It’s funnier to see their reactions to being the focus of a lot of Moto without warning.”

“So why are you warning _me_?”

“You go behind my back with this hunt thing and you have to ask me that?”

_Oh, so she thinks I’m a coward. Great. _Shikamaru sighs, because that’s fair. He’s pretty sure the only thing that is stopping her from just flattening his plans even now is his mom inexplicably weighing in on his side. “Guess not. But it’s not like I haven’t been to clan gatherings before.”

She just snorts and makes him keep walking, somewhat stooped to allow for her grip on his ear. Surprisingly, she lets go when they get to a smallish enclosed estate in the civilian area. “Prove it, brat.”

_And just like that, he knows he’s underestimated her again. Damn, what a woman._ He takes a deep breath, stretches his neck to rid it of the incipient kink, and slouches comfortably. “I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Either the 4th Ninja War hasn’t happened, or it did and more people survived. I dunno and have decided I don’t care to figure out which at this point.
> 
> Genko-o has like…an almost anaphylactic reaction to tobacco. It’s been a few hours since Shikamaru smoked a cigarette or she wouldn’t be okay with being in that close. She’s ended up wheezing in the hospital a few times due to inconsiderate smokers, Asuma being the _first_ one, so she has an undying hate of cigarettes, particularly the brand he smoked. Healing chakra _can_ be used on her, but only if she suppresses her kekkai genkai _hard_, which requires a lot of concentration. Which naturally is hard to come by when she _can’t breathe_.  
Her eyes are purplish brown that looks brown unless the light hits them _just so_. It’s not a familial thing on the Moto side, since the Moto clan gives no shits about _‘Who’s who’_ in the ninja world and gets a wide variety of genetics mixed in as a result. She might get it from her father or from her Uzumaki grandmother, or just as likely from an odd mix of genetics throwing out a sport.  
She never did get that packet of replacement carrot seeds.  
She is 40.  
Unlike the Moto Clan house, Genko-o’s house is not in the civilian district. There is actually a low-level warning on the ANBU map to avoid her house, but it’s small and easily overlooked. Shikamaru _did_ note it, but forgot about it within a day or two.
> 
> Shikamaru is somewhere between 21 and 23. Although you’re welcome to imagine him whatever age floats your boat for this story.  
He comes by his bossy woman kink honestly, but to be clear, at this point he _is_ actually using Genko-o to one-up his clan. And knows that she’s aware of this. Also, he has not come to terms yet with the fact that she makes his hormones stand up and do a jig, and is currently a bit baffled that he’s ‘already’ thinking of her in sexual terms.


	2. Pocky Theft and Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shika gets a dose of the weird side of the Moto family as soon as he walks in the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (pokes at fic curiously) Dunno if this is going anywhere. We'll see, I suppose. This was the rest that I just was too tired to try writing yesterday.

The Motos are…not what he expected. Given Genko-o’s warning, he almost thought he’d be facing grim-faced civilians armed with hoes and stares of death. Instead, they’re casually bustling around, chatting, preparing food, feeding themselves and a few kids playing around at muted screeching volume. There _is_ a sense of oppression of his chakra, but probably only about 1/5th collectively of what Genko-o’s wards use, so he assumes it’s ambient and not intentional. Adjusting to it only takes a moment _(and honestly, who’s going to be able to tell if he’s slouching from laziness or slouching because the air makes him feel like he’s carrying Chouji?)_.

A woman in her mid-twenties, holding a half-eaten pocky stick in one hand and two extras in her other, turns around from one of the kitchen counters and spies them. “Hey, Genko-o! You brought your boy?” She rudely points the spare pocky at him. “I’d heard you’d got one, but rumor didn’t say you’d found one stupid enough to not run when he sees us.”

Shikamaru ambles forward and then snags the pocky before she can resist and hands one to Genko-o. “Thanks. These were for us, right?” He bites into his before she can stop gaping at him in shock.

_What? She had it coming! And it’s not like he’s stupid enough to pass up available snacks, not after being friends with Chouji for so long._

Genko-o smirks at him, starts to take a bite, then sighs and hands it back to him.

_“Genko-ooooo! Aoko-chan says she wants to open her hunt next month! What do I dooooo!?”_ A jounin he barely recognizes wails and throws himself at Genko-o, breaking down into whimpering, dramatic sobs on her shoulder.

Shikamaru blinks a few times, then shakes his head and shoves the filched pocky in front of the jounin’s face. “Pocky stick?”

It takes a moment for the man to focus on him, but then he looks horrified. “Nara-sama?”

He twitches as suddenly the attention of half the people in the house snaps to him, but keeps his tone even. “Nah, that’s my father. Pocky?”

“Uhm. Thanks?” The jounin takes it and straightens to take a hesitant bite out of it. “Are…um…are you here as a guest?”

“No, Hayashi. He’s _mine_.” Genko-o replies for him, her tone dropping into dangerous and territorial on the last word, widening Shikamaru’s eyes in surprise, and causing the jounin still half-draped over her to yelp and scuttle backwards. “As for Aoko-chan, remind her that not being a Moto _legally_ means she _legally_ can’t declare a hunt, and if she _legally_ lets herself be adopted, then she _legally_ can’t marry _out_ of the clan. She can just date like any other selfish teenager and get dumped if she’s a bitch and _then_ find someone she loves. It’s not like she has our kekkai genkai to contend with.”

Hayashi sniffles around a bite of pocky, but doesn’t argue.

“He- He- He stole my pocky!” The first woman finally accuses in disbelief.

Shikamaru raises a brow at her. “Ninja.”

She screeches at a hair-raising decibel _(but has nothing on Ino who can chakra enhance her shrieking)_, “This is why I hate ninja and I’m never going to hunt one!”

“No, Jakuchu, you hate ninjas because you want to be one and never forgave your brother for being one and then dying.” Genko-o corrects brutally. “And quit trying to claim the communal pocky jar as your own. You _know better_ than to point things at ninjas who don’t know you. Be glad Shikamaru isn’t like Aoi from the Accounting Department, who has PTSD over pocky sticks being pointed at him.”

“As long as it isn’t paper kunai.” Shikamaru grumbles, popping the last bite of his pocky stick into his mouth. “Those things are like nasty, exploding _burrs._”

“…” Jakuchu subsides and says in a surprising calm tone. “You know, I don’t think I’ll ask. How the hell did Genko-o snag herself a Clan heir, anyways?”

Shikamaru looks up at the ceiling and doesn’t answer.

Genko-o snorts. “Other way around. I forgot to close my hunt officially after I got married. Hadn’t thought about it in years until the kid fell in my carrot patch and asked me about it point-blank.”

“So he fell in your carrots and you decided to claim him?”

“… Yeah, how about we go with that.” Genko-o agrees with a roll of her eyes after a moment of uncomfortable silence.

“Holy sexy Sage and Kaguya’s erotic toes! He _seduced you_ and then his father insisted that you marry him, didn’t he!? I’m right _aren’t I!?_”

There is a beat of stunned silence as the household digests this deduction, then Shikamaru informs her, “I think I am deeply disturbed by your choice of what to swear by.”

Hayashi laughs. “Yeah, we _all _are.”

“Hey, Kaguya’s toes are sexy, I’m telling you!”

Shikamaru contemplates this for a moment. “How would you tell? They were always covered up by her robes.”

“Because she has good bones! People with good bones _always_ have sexy toes.”

“Okay.” He shrugs, because he honestly has spent _no time at all, ever,_ contemplating Kaguya’s bones as anything but a threat. “But are you sure? Because she’s not actually human, you know.”

“Eeeeee! That’s true! I never thought about that! Genko-o, you have to keep this one, okay? Even if you _are_ embarrassed that he seduced you. He makes good arguments!”

“I’ll be sure to take your opinion into account, Jakuchu.” She replies in a tone as dry as dust. “As always.”

“Which means ‘not at all, ever’.” Jakuchu confides cheerfully, leaning over the counter and grabbing a handful of pocky. “Now that I’ve met you and listened to Nayu wail over not yet succeeding on her hunt, I’m off to hassle Isamu.”

“Good riddance!” A man pulling a roast out of the oven yells after her.

He looks at Genko-o quizzically. “Isamu?”

“Her husband. Civilian.” Genko-o’s mouth quirks in wry amusement. “I think it’s the first time since the clan came to Konoha that someone’s married a civilian, but she’s always been a few noodles shy of a ramen cup. And that was _before_ her twin got his sorry ass killed diddling some lord’s daughter over in Tea Country. I guarantee that only half the family will even consider that you seduced me, now.”

“The sane half or the other half?” He asks morosely, eyeing the empty pocky jar. _Why hadn’t **he** thought of seducing her? Now he feels stupid._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess the 4th War did happen? Eh, whatever. Less people died, somehow. _(Handwaves it)._
> 
> Genko-o Moto- Civilian who does part-time fuuinjutsu work for T&I as well as selling tags for other uses _(this requires someone to prime them with not-Moto chakra so that weird, weird things don’t result, which eats into her profits a fair bit.)_
> 
> Jukuchu Moto- Moto by birth, civilian. Many people find her wild mood switches a bit weird at best. Her twin brother (_deceased_) was one of the rare Motos born with regular chakra, but she has the kekkai genkai. She has _personal issues_ about this, and is the only not-ninja Moto known to have married a civilian (_Isamu_) since the founding of Konoha.
> 
> Hayashi Moto- A jounin who married into the clan, and took the clan name. He has a teenage daughter, Aoko, from before who was raised as a Moto, but does not legally carry their last name. Most of his melodrama in life is directly related to ‘Aoko-chan’.
> 
> Shikamaru Nara- His dad’s still around, so he’s not quite as well-known as in canon. Has a kink for bossy and competent.
> 
> Nayu Moto- A youngish Moto woman who is melodramatically mourning the fact that her hunt hasn't produced instant results.
> 
> Shikaku Nara- Still Jounin Commander. Worried enough about his son’s love life to risk intervening.
> 
> Yoshino Nara- Bossy and strict, but warm hearted and kind when she wants to be _(canonical)._ She hates seeing her son suffering.
> 
> Pocky jar- The Moto have a large glass cookie jar that they use for holding communal pocky sticks. They tend to disappear quickly when someone is stressed or certain family members are visiting.
> 
> Aoi- A civilian in Accounting, who washed out as a genin. Has deep seated PTSD about pocky sticks being pointed at him. Triggering it ends with dramatic destruction of property, though fortunately not high on a ninja-scale of destruction. Generally leaves bystanders faintly wary of pointing pocky at anyone for a few months after.


	3. Carrots and Crows and Pocky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shika takes a nap. Shika is rudely startled awake. Ino gives a shovel talk.

Shikamaru sighs and sets the crate of carrots carefully on the counter. Technically, he probably shouldn’t have let himself in, but he doesn’t think the carrots would’ve appreciated a wait in the hot afternoon sun any more than he would’ve. He doesn’t know where Genko-o is because, contrary to _some people’s_ opinions, he is _not_ a stalker, and according to the chunin he’d asked about her schedule, she should be home by now.

Her home, not theirs. Unfortunate, but something he can live with as long as she doesn’t kick him to the curb. And the notion of her moving onto the Nara clan grounds… Well, _one_ elder had suggested it. It had been worth the entertainment of watching his parents and every other Nara who's ever had more than a five-minute acquaintance with the woman in question burst into laughter. _Yeah, that wasn’t happening._

He supposes, though, that he should probably check out the actual damage to her carrot patch. So he moseys out that way, not as inconvenienced by the wards as he had expected to be. _Strange._

The damage to the carrot patch is…well. Cringe worthy. There are a few, forlorn plants still struggling around the edges of it, the others obviously broken at too early a stage of their life cycle and thoroughly dead now. _Okay, his mom was definitely right to insist he replace her carrots with some the clan grows for the Akamichi restaurants._

With another sigh, he kneels down and starts removing the deceased plants.

~

She finds him asleep on his back in the middle of her garden path, a tidy pile of carrot corpses near one elbow, and takes a moment to just _look_ at him. Strange as it is, there is nothing wrong with it. He is _hers_, after all. With no hint of coercion or pursuit on her part, he has deliberately stepped into her life and made himself a place there. Lean muscles, ridiculous hair, utter lack of sense and all.

_And the wedding from hell in the works that Yoshino is doubtlessly planning, of course._ Though at least she gets along with her in-laws to be? Could be worse. Kyonosuke had been from Kiri, and the closest she’d gotten to being able to meet his family was exchanging letters _(though his father is the only one that still writes to her after so many years)_. His clan is another thing; having random Naras come up and commiserate with her out of the blue has given her a distinct appreciation for belonging to a relatively normal clan.

Shikamaru apparently senses the weight of her gaze, because his eyes open after a couple minutes, shaking her out of her thoughts. “Ah, sorry. I wasn’t sure where you wanted them, and was cloud watching while I waited. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

_Cloud watching? She hasn’t done that since her school days. Interesting hobby, though._

“I have a bed you can borrow, if you’d rather.” She offers, lips quirking.

~

“Meikko! Why is there a _child_ asleep in your bed!? Have you finally gone and picked up unsavory habits from that T&I place!?”

_Niece? _Shikamaru jerks out of sleep fuzzily at the bellowed accusation to find a red haired <strike>crow</strike> matron standing over him, inspecting him like an Aburame might inspect one of their prized bugs.

“Oba, get out of my room! That’s the Nara I told you about who hunted _me_, you senile bat!” He hears Genko-o’s voice reply from somewhere else in the house. _Oh, right. He’d been sleepy and she’d offered him a bed. Although he’d assumed it was the guest bed, not hers._

“I didn’t forget! You didn’t tell me that he’s _twelve!_ You’ve been corrupted, girl! I know your parents taught you better than this! I won’t approve of-!” The banshee bellows back.

Shikamaru can deal with Ino on a bad day, he can deal with Genko-o’s weird cousin, he can deal with _Naruto and Rock Lee_, but right now? Ugh. “I. Am a legal adult, a jounin, a _war hero_ if you want to get particular, and _asleep._ Would you _mind_ taking your delusions somewhere I _don’t_ have to listen to them at full volume?”

Her mouth snaps shut and she stares at him for a full minute, before turning for the door and bellowing, “And he’s got a temper on him! I like this one! Better than that sissy you married before!”

“Kyonosuke was _not_ a-!”

Something on the dresser rattles as she slams the door behind her, muffling the rest of Genko-o’s reply into unintelligible.

He stares at the door for a moment, then groans and pulls a pillow over his head. _No doubt Genko-o will be pissed that he lost his temper with her aunt, no matter how aggravating the woman is._

~

Genko-o’s lips twitch. Apparently pocky has _mysteriously appeared_ at every desk and every locker in T&I. Generic, store-bought pocky from what she’s seen. But the fact that _her_ locker is now the proud possessor of a tidy, shatterproof glass jar of homemade pocky that she distinctly recognizes as having been made by her clan head makes the culprit obvious. The boy is hilarious. And given Ino Yamanaka’s smirk at the general reactions occurring, she thinks so too. Then again, the head of T&I _did_ used to be on the same genin and chunin team with him.

She walks over to Ino, jar in hand, munching on a stick of pocky, because it _is_ good.

“Good pocky?” Ino asks, eyes alight with humor and calculation.

“Mmn. You know it is. He probably bribed you with it to let him in to do all this. Kami only knows what he bribed my clan head with to get it, though. Ever think of introducing that boy to ‘subtle’ and explaining it’s not the same as ‘ninja humor’?”

“I tried once. He thought I was talking about boys and tuned me out.” Ino admits. “Though I find myself a bit surprised to find he actually has a _type_.”

“Oh?”

“Well, Temari’s hair is sandy-blonde and yours is brown with blonde highlights, and you both have this…I don’t know…_air_ about you. Like you will only put up with nonsense if it doesn’t annoy you? Bossy too, but that’s to be expected, since Shika wouldn’t know how to deal with a woman who isn’t.”

“Ah.” She takes another bite of pocky, thinking. “Is this a shovel talk?”

Ino bats long eyelashes at her. “That’s what I like about you. You don’t need everything explained to you in tiny words. So?”

Genko-o shrugs. “It’s about time, actually. First one I’ve gotten. He’s mine now. I’ll take care of him. Should I expect a talk from the Akamichi boy too?”

The Yamanaka laughs. “Probably. Though his will probably be scarier. I know you, so I wasn’t too worried. I’m not sure Chouji even remembers there’s a Moto clan. He’s married, so it’s not like he’s affected by your cousin’s hunt announcement.”

“Okay. Shovel talks I can handle. But is there a way to get the Nara from coming up and randomly _‘empathizing’_ with me? Because that’s honestly disturbing.”

“Pssht!” Ino snickers in startlement. “No, sorry. There’s no known way to break Naras of disturbing habits other than sheer persistence and a lot of yelling. Though I think Temari managed it once by way of punching Shika. It would make _him_ listen, but I wouldn’t recommend it. Pretty sure that’s why Yoshino-oba-san and the clan as a whole decided that she wasn’t good enough for him.”

Genko-o curls her lip. “I’ve got more effective ways to get his attention, but that aside… If she thought letting them push her away was doing him a favor, she’s not very bright. I’ve _never_ seen Yoshino give into puppy eyes that fast before.”

Ino’s eyes go cold and the smile her mouth curls into is one that makes murderers beg for their mommy. “Exactly.”

Well, now that they’ve gotten _that_ out of the way. Time for business. “So. What exactly did you call me in for today? Other than the pocky. Some idiot ruin the last batch of seals? Did that ward on cell #312 finally start cracking? New prisoner need sealing?”

“Nah.” Ino grins. “Just the girl talk. You’ll still get paid for your time, of course. Wanna hang out at my desk and show me those seal design alterations you were talking about last time when I’m not busy? We can freak my minions out. They always do better work after I’ve freaked them out thoroughly.”

“Sure. Sounds like fun. And we _do_ need to discuss those sometime soon anyways. I assume you’re counting on the rumors getting back to Shikamaru as well?”

“Of course.” Ino says in a conspiratorial tone. “It’ll give him something to obsess over than you possibly divorcing him before the wedding even happens.”

She snorts and pulls up a chair. “As if.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meikko- ‘niece’, used for one’s own family.  
Meigo- ‘niece’, used more formally, such as to address someone else’s niece.  
Oba- ‘aunt’, used for one’s own family.  
Obasan- ‘aunt’, used for someone _not_ in one’s family, or someone else’s aunt.
> 
> Kyonosuke- uses the characters for ‘gentle’ and ‘rescue’. A name that sounds rather delicate meaning-wise, and is very, very rarely used.  
Kyonosuke Moto- Genko-o’s deceased husband. Originally from Kiri. Died during the Kyuubi attack. He had better things to do with his energy than squabble with Genko-o’s cantankerous aunt, so she _still_ insists that he was a sissy.
> 
> Mokako Moto- Genko-o’s aunt. Half Uzumaki. 100% nosy and loud. Grizzled red hair, dark eyes, sharp-featured. Doesn’t respect people who don’t stand up to her. Has a habit of making outlandish accusations, also dislikes Genko-o’s connection with T&I, but not for the reasons she purports. Very happily married to her childhood sweetheart, Fuyuse Aburame, a lovely, soft-spoken retired-chunin woman who is very strict with her _(and refused to give up her clan name)_. Yes, they are both female.
> 
> Shikamaru Nara- Definitely _not_ twelve. Age 21-23. _Does_ have a bit of a younger look to him (canonical).
> 
> Ino Yamanaka- Age 21-23. Has taken over as the head of T&I. Currently dating Sai, who has been adopted into the Yamanaka clan. Has a deep interest in Shikamaru’s long-term happiness.
> 
> Chouji Akamichi- Age 21-23. Married to his canonical sweetheart.
> 
> Hiroshi Moto- OC civilian Moto. Moto Clan head. Seen in the previous chapter, pulling a roast out of the oven. His hobby is making pocky and cooking in general. He keeps storage scrolls of it in his pantry, due to the occurrence of certain clan members _(such as Jakuchu) _occasionally absconding with the entire jar’s-worth of pocky that’s available for anyone to eat.


	4. Internal Leak, External Affairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penny pinching ruins Shikaku's day. A dead person's past comes back to haunt Shikamaru.

“Glasses are a good look on you, daddy dearest.” She smirks at him, but quite honestly the trendy little glasses perched on the bridge of his nose actually do look nice on him. Yoshino would probably call it cute or distinguished. _Note to self: Make sure Yoshino receives a picture of him wearing them._

Shukaku gives her a world-weary look. “What do you want, Genko-o?”

“Well, if you want the truth, I want to go home and sleep for a week. But Ino said you needed my help over here.”

He looks confused for a moment, then nods. “Oh. Yes, you do seal work. Have I mentioned how much I hate politics recently?”

She waits patiently.

Shikaku sighs. “The roof is leaking. So far we’ve contained it with buckets and mops, but it’s only a matter of time before it gets into the records. Instead of having the roof immediately fixed…”

“Let me guess, the Council is squabbling over which pet budget has to pay and if you’re lucky, it’ll get fixed before this time _next _year.”

“Yeah. That. Can you do something about it? Keeping the records safe, I mean.”

Ginko-o stretches, yawns, and sighs. “Yeah. Have someone go pick up several of the extra-large, highest grade sealing scroll papers and about five jars of Ultra grade sealing ink. Given how many decades of records you undoubtedly have here, it’ll probably be somewhere between 20 and 35 of them in total. Do you want them sorted by area or by date?”

He pulls off his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose for a long moment, then nods. “By date, I think. It’d be a mess trying to cross reference by area in mass storage scrolls.”

She yawns again. “I’ll go home and get my good brushes, then. Probably will only get one or two finished today, but I should be able to finish the rest over the next couple days.”

“I’ll be _thrilled_ if you can manage 60% of them by the end of the week. You’re probably underestimating the number of records we have. We pretty much ended up with _all_ the salvaged records from Konoha facilities during the rebuilding, and no one’s bothered to go through and sort them back out to where they _should_ be as of yet.”

“Fantastic.” She mutters sarcastically. “Then we may have to make periodic runs for more supplies. I’ll do you a favor and charge double my normal rate so you can stick it to the Council. Should shock them into seeing that immediate roof replacements are the lesser evil in the long run.”

“_Thank you._ Kami, but I miss Hashirama roofs. Those things _never_ leaked.”

She shrugs. “Why not have that Yamato guy grow you a new roof, then? Pay him top rate for it. Then you can stick _that_ to the Council too, and they can’t bitch about paying for roofing supplies.”

Shikaku puts his new glasses back on, a malicious smile curling his lips. “I think I’ll do that.”

~

Shikamaru is…well, he wouldn’t exactly say he’s _hiding_, since he’s not suppressing his chakra or covering his presence in other ways, but… Cloud watching until the next minion hunts him down with more tasks. He’s in clear view of the Hokage’s window, situated on top of the small roof of the entry desk station at the gate, so it’s not like he’s not easy to find if someone _really_ needs him. On the other hand, it’s unlikely that someone will bother him for petty tasks here, since it means approaching him in front of a line of civilians at worst and or just under the amused eyes of the entry guards at best. Which _genin_ would willingly do, but for the amount of hassle involved would be easier to simply set the genin in question to the task instead.

He figures he’s got at least an hour before his father gets annoyed and sends a chunin to fetch him for something more interesting, or at least more vital.

The particularly interesting cloud he’s been watching reforms into a shapeless mass once again and he yawns, only to bite his tongue in surprise when a strident voice proclaims, “Both children are cursed! We’ve done our best to raise them as valued members of our noble family, despite both of them being bastards, but with their curse affecting both family and servants and the priests unable to dispel the curse, we acknowledge that we do not have the means to deal with them. Although their father is dead, he was a Konoha ninja, so _Konoha_ will have to deal with it and take responsibility for them!”

“Sir, we don’t have the authority to-”

_Curse? Sounds interesting._ Shikamaru drops down from the roof.

The gate ninjas look relieved. “Nara-sama.”

“That’s my dad.” He complains. Then turns to the flustered civilian noble, undoubtedly a minor family member doomed to be a lackey for the main family. “I’ll deal with this. Curse, you say?”

“Yes!” The man gestures at two children of an age to start Academy, who are cringing back uncertainly. “Whenever they get excited or upset, the curse tries to drain the life out of everyone around them, though they are not affected themselves. We think we got fortunate and their father’s curse split itself between them, so it has not the power to truly harm anyone, but the servants are all terrified of it now, even the ones who adored them, and even their mothers have given up, unable to stand it any longer.”

“I see.” _Somehow this sounds familiar._ He peers at the two children thoughtfully. Yup, they have a certain resemblance. “I’ll take responsibility for them. You did well in bringing them here. If they’re part of the family I think they are, their curse is no light thing. I’ll take them to Hokage-sama now.”

Stepping nimbly past the noble flunky, he picks up one kid under each arm, not at all surprised when there’s a sudden chakra ‘drain’ in the immediate area. Fortunately, even terrified as they are, both together aren’t much stronger than his wife’s static wards, so it’s no great trick to pretend to be unaffected as he walks away.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me! They’re _Motos_!?” One of the guards groans.

“How is it that _he_ is unaffected by the curse!?” The lackey asks in a stunned tone.

“Oh, Nara-sama? He’s married to one of the strongest Motos. He’s used to it.”

“Remarkable.”

~

Tsunade raises an eyebrow at him. “Kidnapping children now?”

Shikamaru sets the brats down and shrugs. “Their family dropped them off. Said they were cursed. I took responsibility for them, given that they’re obviously part of my wife’s family.”

“I thought Motos kept track of their sleeping around better than that?”

“Well, about that, I suspect that Jukuchu’s brother might have been their father, since the guy dropping them off said he was dead and had been a Konoha ninja. Moto born ninjas are rare and he’s the only one dead recently enough to have been their father.”

Her brows lift. “Not Konoha-born, then?”

“No. And if they _had_ been, I’m sure you’d know about it already.”

Tsunade sighs and puts her hands in her head. “I’m too old for this. I don’t know why Kakashi keeps saying ‘no’ to the hat.”

“He doesn’t want his face on the rock.” Shikamaru points out drily, although everyone knows the real reason is that Kakashi doesn’t want to have to deal with _politics._ “So about the brats?”

“Yeah, yeah. You have responsibility. I’ll have it written up. Now go away and have your wife teach them how to turn that annoying kekkai genkai off _before_ my wrinkles start showing.”

~

Shikamaru slouches along casually, keeping an eye on the boy and girl that are trailing him like lost little kittens. They’ve relaxed now that they’re not being manhandled, so the feeling of chakra suppression has faded significantly.

“Um. Nara-sama? Is it true that your wife is cursed like us?” The girl asks tentatively.

_So they’re going to make him explain, eh? Troublesome._ “It’s a bloodline gift, not a curse. And yes, my wife has it too.”

“What’s a ‘bloodline gift’?” The boy asks, well demands really.

_Ugh. This is why he avoids children. He can feel his IQ dropping points by simple association._ “Have you heard about the Uchiha clan?”

“Um. That’s the one that almost got wiped out when kaasan was a child? Because one of them went crazy?”

He represses a whimper. _And here he’d thought Konoha civilians had limited educations!_ “Yes. The Uchiha clan also has a kekkai genkai, a doujutsu called the sharingan. Once awakened, it allows them to see things far better than most people, so they can react faster, which is something invaluable to a ninja in a fight. Only people with Uchiha blood can activate this doujutsu, because it is in their bloodline. Even ninjas who practice really hard and develop similar abilities can never gain the sharingan if they aren’t born with Uchiha blood. The only other way to get one is to steal one from an Uchiha who has awakened theirs.”

The little girl gasps and claps her hands over her eyes. “D-Does th-that mean people are going to s-st-steal our eyes!?”

Shikamaru represses a sigh. “No. Because your kekkai genkai isn’t a doujutsu. It can’t be stolen. Yours just makes people unable to use their chakra when you’re using it. It doesn’t hurt anyone, but it makes them feel very tired. You do need to learn to turn it off unless you have a reason to be using it, though, because other people don’t really like being exhausted without having earned it first.”

This brings blessed silence as the children digest this. At least until the boy asks uncertainly, “What does ‘essauced’ mean?”

_Damn. He should have realized that six year olds might have limited vocabularies. How did Iruka sensei retain his sanity dealing with an endless stream of kids? It makes him feel old just thinking about it._ “‘Exhausted’. It means ‘so tired that you don’t want to move or be awake’.”

“Oh!” The little girl nods wisely and then skips forward to grab his hand. “So like toast that gets dropped in the soup tureen! All limp and floppy!”

_Does he want to know why she would make that connection? No, probably not._ “Yeah, something like that.”

The boy huffs and stomps forward to grab his other hand, like it’s a competition. “So you’re taking responsibility for us. Does that mean you’re adopting us?”

“Um.” _On one hand, kids. On the other hand, it might stop his mother from looking at him sadly for not giving her grandkids? _She never _says_ anything, because she knows Genko-o is probably too old to have any, but the guilt trip is real. Jakuchu’s parents have sworn off kids after raising her and her brother, and Jakuchu herself is… Okay, so maybe she is good at child care, given her job at the daycare center, but that doesn’t mean she’s exactly parent material. The Moto clan would probably throw a collective fit if he tries to hand them over to her. He’s _fairly_ sure that Genko-o won’t object to raising a couple of her cousins as her own kids. She might even insist on it. “Maybe? I guess so?”

The smug look the boy gives the girl makes her huff and look away. “Fine! But I’m still older!”

“Oneesan.” He says in a slightly mocking tone.

She grimaces at him. “Otoutosan.”

Shikamaru is very confused for a moment, before he remembers the lackey saying ‘their mothers’, and realizes that it probably wasn’t the slip of a tongue that he had assumed it to be. _Seems like their mothers didn’t get along that well_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuudai Moto- OC Moto. Shinobi. Jakuchu’s deceased twin brother, died when caught diddling some lord’s daughter. A real charmer and lady’s man, he slept around a lot.
> 
> Ryouichi Funai- A minor noble, not actually not a ‘noble lackey’. The children’s grandfather. He brings most of their belongings along with them. A proud man, but believes in family strongly enough that both children were raised as legitimate family members until the Moto kekkai genkai manifested, and even after that struggled to try to maintain the status quo until it became impossible.
> 
> Ichirou Funai/Moto- Son of the noble’s daughter. If his kekkai genkai had not awakened, he would have been the heir.
> 
> Sanatsu Funai/Moto- Daughter of the noble’s widowed sister. About a month older than Ichirou because she came early. Since she came a bit over nine months after her mother’s husband’s death, the family just pretended she was legitimate until her kekkai genkai awakened.


	5. Expectations Awry and Various Observations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shikamaru's expectations are overturned easily and he doesn't know how to deal. Yoshino and Naruto give advice. Chouji observes and talks to Genko-o.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I've got a couple things to say.  
First, the last scene was the one I wrote first, so that's why I didn't kick it to the next chapter.  
Second, the twist with the kids was always planned, I just didn't plan to write more on this fic at that time and didn't want to leave folks hanging with it already out there, cuz that would've been kind of mean. Don't worry, there's a reason for it, and the kids will be happy with their new situation.

To Shikamaru’s surprise, he does not get a chance to offer to take in the children on Genko-o’s behalf. The Moto Clan head, Hiroshi, takes a long look at the children, then nods. “Jakuchu will want them. You may leave them here, as there are plenty of rooms for them to stay in. I appreciate you bringing them over.”

Somehow he finds himself out in the street, vaguely recalling walking there on his own two feet, blinking in bafflement. It’s not that he’d _wanted_ the kids, exactly. Just that he had expected… Well, no. He’d made assumptions. Childish assumptions. Assumptions that had blinded him to the truth. The Moto are not the Nara, and even among the Nara, a man’s close relatives are given first chance at raising them even if they are of less than sterling character, unless there is serious reason to think them unfit for raising a child.

Jakuchu not only has a stable job dealing with children, she’s also happily married and financially able to support them. Shikamaru himself is…well…an outsider from their point of view; he has gotten too comfortable in having his position as a Clan heir catered to, and forgotten that it holds no weight in the affairs of other clans. He and Genko-o are not even married yet and even when they are, he will still be the Nara Clan heir and she will still be a part of the Moto clan. The sneaky way he’d chosen to get engaged to her must count against him as well.

Shikamaru takes a deep breath, then shrugs and lets it out. _At least the children do not seem upset at the abrupt change_. And it’s not like he was looking forward to proximity-induced drops in intellect or anything like that. _Definitely not._ No, he’s more upset at himself for not considering it properly to begin with.

…Right.

He needs a drink. Or maybe three. Yes, three sounds like a nice start to drown memories of his idiocy in.

~

Hiroshi blinks as young Shikamaru’s face goes perfectly blank and wonders if he’s been too curt or something and hurt the boy’s feelings. In light of this possibility, his tone is notably kinder when he adds, “I appreciate you bringing them over.”

Shikamaru runs a searching gaze across both children’s faces, then nods with that same blank look and leaves without a word.

The boy is interesting. Canny enough to convince Genko-o, who’s always been wilier than she comes across, to accept him as her fiancé in a very short amount of time. Sensitive enough to social currents to fit into the family with surprising ease. Too stubborn to show any unease with their kekkai genkai. And quietly jealous of Genko-o’s attention and person if someone gets in her space too closely for his comfort. _Quietly_, because his reactions can easily be mistaken for amiable and he lets Genko-o make them back off. The interesting thing about that is that Genko-o cares enough about his feelings to do so. After Kyonosuke had died, everyone who knew her back then had been half convinced that she was going to grieve herself to death. Losing her father at the same time and watching her mother mourn herself into the grave hadn’t _helped_, of course, but they all understood that it was losing her husband that nearly killed her.

He knows her well enough that he knows there’s more at play here than a child’s sly whim, or she never would have accepted the engagement, regardless of her attraction or lack thereof to him. Most likely the boy’s friends or parents intervened on his behalf. But that in itself would not be enough to make Genko-o _care_ enough to spare his feelings after pulling _that_ bit of legal chicanery on her. It’s well within her character to make him work for every concession, every step of the way. That she hasn’t… Well, there’s something she must like about him beyond his baby faced good looks and famed intelligence.

Not that Hiroshi is going to ask. Genko-o will tell him when she’s ready or he’ll figure it out eventually on his own.

But for now…

The children are a more immediate concern. Jukuchu’s going to be _a pain_ about this. Torn between thrilled to pieces to get the children and furious over facing living reminders of her dead twin and his idiot way of approaching life dick first.

~

“Yoshino-sama!”

Yoshino pauses and turns to the source of the call, which is a young chunin standing in the doorway of a popular shinobi bar, waving to catch her attention. “Yes?”

“Could you take Shikamaru-san home? The bartender just cut him off.”

She raises an eyebrow, because drinking isn’t something Shikamaru is particularly fond of and it takes something major to make him drink himself into oblivion. He’s only done so one other time to her knowledge. “Certainly. Bring him out for me?”

It’s not really a question, but the chunin nods amiably and a few minutes later helps a staggering Shikamaru out the door and over to her. Her boy is taller than her now, which makes it a little awkward to pick him up when he droops onto her shoulder, but she manages. She’ll tease him about this later, but for now it’s better to get him home and find out what happened.

Half an hour later, she dumps him on the couch and goes back to shut the front door before seeing if he’s coherent enough to talk to her.

“Shikamaru.”

His eyes focus with deceptive sharpness. “Mom?” _Not slurring drunk, then_.

“What happened? It’s not like you to get drunk.”

He flinches like a turtle withdrawing into his shell. “I can’t get them back. I dunno why they’re giving them to her.”

“Them?”

“The kids. I was being stupid, but…”

“But what?”

“They asked if I would adopt them.”

“And you said ‘yes’?”

“Mom, why am I so stupid? I dunno why I said yes.”

“Why was it stupid?” She’s a little confused here.

“Cuz they’re _Motos_ not _Naras_. Can’t adopt them. Mom, I’m stupid.”

“No. Just stupidly drunk. Come on, let’s get you up to bed. We can talk about this when you’re sober.”

“Promise?”

_Well, that’s a promise he’s most likely going to regret asking for._ “Yes, I promise.”

~

The next morning, Shikamaru stumbles in to breakfast, looking like he’s got a headache bigger than he is.

Shikaku gives him a long look, then slides a glance at Yoshino before visibly deciding to keep his mouth shut and merely greeting their son with a nod. _Smart man_.

Shikamaru eats in silence, wincing at every slight noise, then tries to excuse himself when Shikaku leaves.

“Oh no you don’t. You wanted to talk.”

He sits back down reluctantly, avoiding her gaze.

“So. Moto orphans?”

Her son flinches and slumps further. “Some noble lackey dropped them off at the gate. Their father is dead and I _assumed_ that meant that his sister wouldn’t be given custody, because she’s so weird. I don’t know what made me think that I’d be considered as an option to adopt them. But they asked and…”

“And now you’re kicking yourself for forgetting the most basic things about how clans work. Congratulations, that _was_ stupid.” Neither her son nor her husband appreciate sympathy when they know they’ve fucked up. Better to agree bluntly and _then_ make her point.

“I know.” He says gloomily.

“But it’s not stupid to find out that you want children of your own to love. You should let Genko-o know.”

He looks up at her with a kind of puzzled expression. “Mom, I can’t ask that of her. She’s too old to bear kids safely.”

“You might be surprised, but that’s not what I meant. Konoha always has plenty of orphans.”

“Oh.” He looks stunned at this possibility.

“Yeah, oh. Go find Genko-o and talk to her. She’s not so set in her ways that she won’t listen. Even if she says ‘no’, this is something you should talk together about.”

His mouth twists in self-deprecation, but he nods instead of looking away, so she knows he’ll take her advice. _Always nice to see her son use his intelligence in productive ways._

~

When he spots Shikamaru acting all droopy walking down the street, he doesn’t really think about it before running up and slinging an arm around his shoulders.

“Why so gloomy, Shikamaru? I heard you got trapped into marrying a really old lady. Is it because of that?” Naruto doesn’t actually _believe_ the rumor, but at least it should amuse his friend.

Shikamaru gives him a flat look. “She’s not _old_. And if anything, _I_ tricked _her_ into accepting.”

Naruto blinks, because that is totally _not_ what he was expecting from his attempt to lighten his friend’s obvious gloom. “So she’s not like twice your age?”

“I worry about your standards for ‘old’.” Shikamaru says, giving him a funny look, the one that wonders exactly how old he is mentally.

“You really like her, huh?”

He shrugs. “Yeah.”

“Cool. Then did someone die?”

Shikamaru huffs in exasperation. “No, no one has died to my knowledge.”

“Well, if it’s not cuz of your fiancée and not cuz someone died, you should cheer up, dattebayo! Thinking about bad things all the time can make you sick. Sakura said so.”

“Troublesome.” Shika sighs but his shoulders straighten a little. “I’ve just got something I need to discuss with Genko-o. And I don’t really want to, because it’s stupid.”

_Oh! Something he can actually help with!_ “Don’t worry about stupid. She wouldn’t be marrying you if she cared about you being stupid. And she’ll be more upset if you _don’t_ discuss it with her, dattebayo! Hinata didn’t let me have ramen for a _whole week_ after I put off talking to her about something I was worried about for a whole month. She says I gotta trust her with stuff, cuz that’s what being in a relationship is about, sharing the worries _and_ the joys. And if you try to have one without the other, then things start falling apart and it’s not good.”

“Is that so?”

“Yup! Cuz you know, I help her with stuff she’s worried about and she helps me with stuff I’m worried about and it all is easier to deal with when you’ve got two people fixing it instead of just one worrying about it.”

“Ahem.”

Naruto looks up to see an annoyed looking messenger chunin glaring at him. “Oh, hahaha. Um. Actually, baa-san summoned me, so I gotta run. But invite me to the wedding, okay, Shikamaru?” He removes his arm from Shika’s shoulders and pats him on the back.

“Yeah, yeah. Of course you’re welcome. Get going, Naruto. _Before_ you get in trouble.”

_Yeah, well, baa-san’s probably mad if she’s already sent a second person to fetch him this soon, so it must be important, but…_ “See ya later, Shikamaru!”

~

The first time Chouji sees her, he thinks she’s maybe 30ish and there’s just something about her attitude that makes her seem older. He’s not worried about her age, though; he’s worried about how she’ll treat Shikamaru’s heart. People may _think_ Shikamaru is a lot tougher than Chouji himself is, but they’ve never watched him all but lose the will to live in the wake of Temari leaving him.

She seems comfortable enough for an outsider invited to one of the Ino/Shika/Cho inter-clan gatherings, which is a point in her favor. Temari was always a little too tense to fit properly. He watches her gaze slide to Shika frequently, a mild, fond look in her eyes and decides that a mild warning to be careful with his best friend’s heart will probably be plenty to get his point across.

Ino sidles up next to him. “So, what do you think?”

Chouji considers, then shrugs. “I think she likes him a lot. Pretty, too.”

“Yeah, you’d never know she’s almost twice his age, right?”

He blinks at her. “Twice?”

“Well, yeah. Her first husband died in the Kyuubi attack.”

“A lot of civilians died then.” He comments with a wince. That had to have been devastating. Not to mention, he’s felt Kurama’s chakra when he’s _not_ seething with hatred and that’s bad enough, but the giant chakra fox hadn’t been in so generous a mood back then. Chouji’s glad he was too young at the time to remember it. Though if she’s that old, then… Taking a bite of beef skewer, he contemplates why she seems a bit familiar somehow.

“Civilian? No, she was married to an ex-Kiri nin. He died helping to contain the damage, apparently.”

“…Are you supposed to know that?”

“Probably not.” Ino admits cheerfully. “But it was in the public section of her records and she does enough high-security stuff that I couldn’t justify breaking into the sealed ones. I’d kill to know how she manages to look a decade younger than she is and still say it’s natural, though.”

Chouji’s eyes widen as he abruptly realizes that he hasn’t seen the woman in question for a couple minutes and…

“I’m a quarter Uzumaki.” Shikamaru’s fiancée says from behind them, in a slightly amused tone. “I don’t think killing me or drinking my blood would help you, though. If anything, you’re more likely to poison yourself because of my kekkai genkai.”

“Wait. You’re related to Naruto!?” Chouji blurts, appalled that Naruto _had relatives who didn’t take him in_.

“Hm?” She tilts her head curiously. “Oh, Kushina’s boy? No, Kushina wasn’t related to me. Different bloodline. And if you’re going to ask why we didn’t take him in, it’s pretty obvious isn’t it? No one knew if the Moto ability would adversely affect the seal or not, and there was no remotely safe way to test that, given that it’s a one of a kind and requires one to sacrifice their soul to implement it. If he’d consulted me, I’d have made that idiot Minato scrap the thing and start over from scratch. He’s lucky that a method was devised to retrieve souls of the dead for a time, so he was able to go to the Pure Lands after all in the end. Anyways… Many seals are relatively stable around us unless we’re directing intent at them, but there are also quite a few that simply unravel after prolonged exposure to our mere presence.”

Ino narrows her eyes at her. “I thought you could suppress your kekkai genkai entirely without a problem?”

Genko-o makes a complicated expression before saying calmly, “I can. But I had just lost the love of my life to the fox, as well as my father and brother, and my mother grieved herself to death in the aftermath. I wasn’t the only one in the clan to lose loved ones. Can you truthfully say that there would have _never_ been a moment for one of us to direct intent at the fox and thus the boy who carries him? I can’t. From me, in particular, it would have been a danger. My looks are not the only thing my Uzumaki blood affects. I can _kill_ with my kekkai genkai. A few of-”

Chouji snaps his fingers in sudden realization. “You’re that woman who was protecting my little cousins and some other civilians from Zetsus with some sort of ward! I thought you were a ninja.”

She pauses and regards him for a moment, then nods. “Sealmasters and sufficiently competent apprentices are given provisional status as chunin ninjas in the event of village-wide crises or worse, if we don’t already hold that position, so that we have authority to get others to cooperate with us instead of interfering. The status is also revoked automatically after a crisis passes. But I think you’re confusing me with my cousin, perhaps Emiko or Asuka. I was at Alliance Headquarters during the 4th War, and I don’t recall needing to protect any civilians from those white goo plant abominations.”

Well. He feels a little foolish now. But he can contemplate that later; there’s something more important right now. “When you said ‘love of your life’, does that mean you don’t love Shikamaru?”

Her eyes sharpen on him for a moment, then she shrugs. “I do not, but he doesn’t love me either.”

He gives her a hard stare, but her point is fair enough. Shikamaru’s still in the mild stage, not really in love yet, but in ‘like’ enough that she has the power to hurt him. “Don’t hurt him.”

“I won’t abandon him and I won’t let him live in his head too much. I take care of people who are mine. If I hurt him, you can hit me, but I don’t promise not to hit back.” Her tone is serious enough that he knows he got his point across. Not that he’s going to hit her even if she does hurt Shika _(hitting civilians with intent to harm is a crime, for one thing)_, but he can effectively get her banned from all the Akamichi restaurants if she does.

Ino snorts. “Don’t tell him that. Chouji despises hitting women.”

“Ah.” Genko-o looks thoughtful, then nods. “Right. Akamichi. It’s been awhile since I’ve interacted with your clan much. I’d forgotten that most of you aren’t anything like that asshole Joben.”

Chouji sputters. His cousin Joben is one of the least likeable persons anyone’s likely to meet, and he includes crazed missing nins in that evaluation. If her normal contact with his clan consists of Joben, then it’s no wonder at all that she’d offer something like that.

“So, then. If I deliberately hurt Shikamaru, I’ll look forward to economic based retaliation from your clan, yes?” She asks brightly. “I’m glad Shika has good friends. Shovel talks are always stimulating, don’t you think?”

He turns red, and Ino bursts into laughter hard enough that she has to clutch her stomach.

Genko-o pats his shoulder consolingly and then wanders off towards Shika, whose attention has been attracted by Ino’s gut-busting laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shika will get around to talking to Genko-o. Dunno if I should include that talk or not. There's honestly _a lot_ they haven't discussed for various reasons, mostly Shika being afraid she'll dump him if he makes a bad impression.
> 
> Not sure where the chapter count will end up on this.
> 
> And, okay, I'm not entirely sure the conversation about seals makes perfect sense as is. Hm...

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Mokako and Fuyuse and Hiroshi and Cat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20910005) by [Foodmoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foodmoon/pseuds/Foodmoon), [SectorDweller](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SectorDweller/pseuds/SectorDweller)


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